Wives' Love and Respect Checklist - Part 3

Wives,

Remember C-H-A-I-R-S: How To Spell Respect To Your Husband

Conquest

Hierarchy

Authority

Insight

Relationship

Sexuality

This is the third checklist, Authority, for showing your husband you respect him.

Your husband will feel you appreciate his authority and and leadership when:

-you tell him you are thankful for his strength and enjoy being able to lean on him at times
-you support his self-image as a leader
-you never say, "You're responsible but we're still equal, so don't make a decision I don't agree with"
-you praise his good decisions
-you are gracious if he makes a bad decision
-you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids
-you give your reasons for disagreeing quietly and reasonably, but you never attack his right to lead
-you do not play "head games" with him to make him back down and be a "loving peacemaker"

As you read this list you may recall a moment when you did not respect you husband's authority... it is not too late to apologize and let him know that you asking God to help you to be more respectful. Watch his demeanor change before your eyes.

God bless your union,

Marc

this pic is just funny

Eggerichs, Emerson. "Authority - His Desire to Serve and Lead." Love & respect: the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs. Nashville, TN: Integrity Publishers ;, 2004. p 224-2225. Print.

Wives' Love and Respect Checklist - Part 2

Wives,

Remember C-H-A-I-R-S: How To Spell Respect To Your Husband

Conquest

Hierarchy

Authority

Insight

Relationship

Sexuality

This is the second checklist, Hierarchy, for showing your husband you respect him.

Your husband will feel you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when:

-you verbalize your admiration of him for protecting you and being willing to die for you

-you praise his commitment to provide for and protect you and the family (he needs to know you don't take this for granted)

-you empathize when he reveals his male mind-set about position, status, rank, or being one-up or one-down, particularly at work

-you never mock the idea of "looking up to him" as your protector to prevent him from "looking down on you"

-you never, in word or body language, put down his job or how much he makes

-you are always ready to figuratively "light the candles" as E. V. Hill's wife did when they couldn't afford to pay the light bill

-you quietly and respectfully voice concerns about finances and try to offer solutions on where you might be able to cut spending

Landon - son of LCPL Andrew Carpenter

Some of these things may come naturally to you and others may not. Either way, totally depend on God so he can live through you and help you respect your husband.

Lord protect us,

Marc

Eggerichs, Emerson. "Hierarchy - His Desire to Protect and Provide." Love & respect: the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs. Nashville, TN: Integrity Publishers ;, 2004. p 213-214. Print.

Wives' Love and Respect Checklist

Ladies,

It is finally you turn! Love is what you need to feel fulfilled and secure in your marriage but what your husband needs is your respect.

The word to remember is, C-H-A-I-R-S: How To Spell Respect To Your Husband

Conquest

Hierarchy

Authority

Insight

Relationship

Sexuality

Your husband will feel you appreciate his desire to work and achieve when:

-you tell him verbally or in writing that you value his work efforts

-you express your faith in him related to his chosen field

-you listen to his work stories as closely as you expect him to listen to you accounts of what happens in the family

-you see yourself as his helpmate and counterpart and talk with him about this whenever possible

-you allow him to dream as you did when you were courting

-you don't dishonor or subtly criticize his work "in the field" to get him to show more love "in the family"

These checklists will be counter-culture but I would rather be a friend of God and an enemy of the world than vice versa (Jame 4:4).

God bless you and give you peace,

Marc

Eggerichs, Emerson. "Conquest - His Desire To Work and Achieve." Love & respect: the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs. Nashville, TN: Integrity Publishers ;, 2004. p 203. Print.

Love and Respect Checklist - Part 6

Part 6: Esteem

Gentlemen,

This is it! The last checklist.  Wives your checklist is next!

To review, C-O-U-P-L-E: How To Spell Love To Your Wife

Closeness

Openness

Understanding

Peacemaking

Loyalty

Esteem

The 6th and final checklist is for Esteem.

Your wife will feel esteemed when:

-you say, "I'm so proud of the way you handled that."

-you speak highly of her in front of others

-you open the door for her

-you try something new with her

-you give her encouragement or praise with kindness and enthusiasm

-you notice something different about her hair or clothes

-you are physically affectionate with her in public

-you teach the children to show her and others respect

-you value her opinion in the gray areas as not wrong but just different-and valid

-you choose family outings over "guy things"

-you make her feel first in importance

-you are proud of her and all she does

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Men, surrender to God and ask Him to help you love your wife.

Trust Him,

Marc

Eggerichs, Emerson. "Esteem - She Wants You To HonorLoyalty - She Needs to Know You're Committed." Love & respect: the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs. Nashville, TN: Integrity Publishers ;, 2004. p 182. Print.

Love and Respect Checklist - Part 5

Part 5: Loyalty 

Gents,

I made a mistake and post this list as Peacemaking. This is the Loyalty list. 

Remember the C-O-U-P-L-E: How To Spell Love To Your Wife

Closeness

Openness

Understanding

Peacemaking

Loyalty

Esteem

We have already discussed Closeness, Openness and Understanding in previous post.

The 4th checklist is for Peacemaking.

She'll feel at peace with you when:

-you don't correct her in front of the children

-you don't look lustfully at other women

-you make her and your marriage a priority

-you are never critical of her or your children in front of others

-you include her in social gatherings when others may leave their spouses home

-you tell the kids, "Don't speak to your mother that way!"

-you call and let her know you plans

-you keep commitments

-you speak positively of her and the children at all times

                                                                     Good book btw.

As you can see in this checklist, you are not only honoring God and loving your spouse you are setting the example for your children.

"Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun." - Eccl 9:9

Peace,

Marc

Eggerichs, Emerson. "Loyalty - She Needs to Know You're Committed." Love & respect: the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs. Nashville, TN: Integrity Publishers ;, 2004. p 172. Print.